The Harder Battle
by Yanagi-sen
Summary: Rating for suggestive content and later parts. Wufei has fought to kill, but can he survive fighting to heal? This is my first posting on Fanfiction.net.


The Harder Battle

The Harder Battle

by Yanagi-sen

Gundam Wing fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.I don't own 'em, not makin any money off of 'em, don't sue!

Warnings: shonen ai, implied violence and death, angst, AU, OOCness 

This fic and it's companion (Comforting the Wounded) were inspired by a program on the Discovery Channel about medics in wartime, just in case you were wondering where in the world I came up with this one.

Author's Note:Most of my stories have arranged themselves into a timeline, this fic being the first (so far).At this point, we're still pretty much keeping with the events of the series.If you are a stickler for canon however I will warn you this will change.But my AU doesn't diverge until after Heero gets Zero back from Zechs.Of course this is always subject to revision depending on the whims of my muse, an annoyingly demented little faerie named Leannan Sidhe.

AC 195

Author's Note: This takes place after Wufei helps Sally and the rebels fight Boont in China.

/character thoughts/

Wufei sighed in relief.It was over.The traitor Boont and his OZ allies had been defeated.The young Chinese pilot hid Nataku and grabbed his medkit from the cockpit before decending.People thought **fighting a war was difficult, but the harder struggle came after the battle.The fight against that indifferent opponent known as Death.The rebel camp was from the nearest modern medical facility.Wufei knew that warrior-medics like himself were going to be the injured soldiers' only hope for survival.**

He jogged back toward the remains of the camp.Wufei knew that Po was a doctor, but two hands, no matter how skilled, could only do so much.The battle had been short, but vicious, there were bound to be quite a few wounded.He broke though the treeline and got his first sight of the ruined camp.He stopped, stunned.He hadn't been able to see much when he arrived during the fight, and had shoved it to the back of his mind while in Nataku.Now, he couldn't push it away.

Smoke still wafted on the wind, casting a grim pall over the scene; though the fires were finally succumbing to the concentrated efforts to extinguish them.It was that time of eerie twilight where nothing seems quite real.The people moving through the smoky wasteland resembled wraiths more than human beings.The air was filled with the moans and cries of the wounded, the ground littered with the dead and the dying.The smell of the place was an odd combination; the clean scent of the pine forest mingled with the sickly-sweet smell of burnt flesh, overlaying it all, the metallic tang of blood.Wufei swallowed the gorge in his throat and rushed to where he could see Po swiftly organizing what scant medical personnel she had.

"Po."

"Huh?Oh, Wufei."She noticed his medkit."Wufei, do you have **any medical experience?"**

"I'm a trained field-medic."

"Thank the gods.GO!Do whatever you can!Anything you can't handle give a shout and someone will bring them to me."

As she turned away he caught her arm."What if they're beyond help?"

She stared deep into his onyx eyes and he could see a terrible sadness in her gaze."Do what you have to do."He nodded, he understood.Turning, he took a steadying breath and went to work.

The now ranking officer in camp looked at the boy slumped beside a fire. The kid was staring into the flames, holding a cup that someone had obviously pressed on him.Takai ran his hand over the bandage on his arm.His injury wasn't too serious and the boy had finally gotten around to stitching it only an hour before.He'd watched the kid work tirelessly for two days to triage and treat the wounded.Takai wasn't happy with what he saw now.

"That's not doin' ya any good sittin' in your hand, kid."

"Huh?"Wufei looked up at the older soldier.

"The food doesn't do you any good if it just sits in the cup."

"Oh...yeah."He took a sip and grimaced.He carefully set the cup on the ground and went back to staring into the fire.Takai picked up the cup and tasted it, the soup was cold.He refilled it and returned, determined that the kid would eat something.

"Here."

"What?"

"You need to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"Tough.I'm not moving till this is gone."Wufei scowled but started to drink./Kid, you look like Hell.You may be trained, but I don't think you've actually done this type of work before. /He settled down to watch the boy./What are we doin' to you, kid?It's bad enough that we're making you fight this war, do we have to scar your mind and soul as well?We need to get you out of here before that haunted look takes up permanant residence in your eyes. /

"Wufei."A quiet voice intruded on his brooding.

"Po.Do you need me?"Wufei half-jumped to his feet before Sally pushed him back down.

"No.We've done all we can.The rest will be up to them."She sat next to him.

"Oh."

"Wufei.Will you do something for me?"

"Of course.What do you need?"

"Takai and I want you to leave."

"What?!"

"Take Nataku and get out of here."

"But..."  
"We couldn't have won this fight or saved as many lives without you.But **this isn't what you're here for."**

"Onna!"

"Takai is getting some supplies together for you.Stay true to yourself, Wufei.Don't lose sight of your sense of honor, or your compassion.I hope we'll see you again, under better circumstances.Goodbye."

Wufei jerked awake, sweat running off his body.It had been four days since he'd left the rebels' camp in China.He'd been able to keep going for another day before he collapsed from exhaustion.He just couldn't get the images out of his head.The raw wounds.The screaming.The smell of blood and charred flesh.Finding only parts of bodies.The blank, staring eyes of the dead.Granting mercy to those who were beyond saving.Staying with them after giving them the poison, so they wouldn't have to die alone.Watching as they understood that their life was ending, as the last light faded from their eyes.And everywhere, blood; staining the bandages, the clothes, the earth, him.

He staggered out of his bedding and barely made it to the bushes before he fell to his knees.His stomach heaved and he lost what little he'd been able to force himself to eat.He knelt for many minutes rubbing his aching head.When his insides finally stopped trying to jump out his throat, he crawled back to his bed.With trembling hands he packed his bedroll and few belongings.He rinsed his mouth and sipped some water before making an unsteady climb into Nataku's cockpit.He needed to do something.The helplessness he had felt was turning to anger.Only one opponent was worthy of his ire.Kushrenada owed him a rematch.He was hardly in any condition to fight but if he died, at least it would silence the screams.

Wufei made sure Nataku was well hidden and enabled the self-destruct program.If he didn't send a signal within three days, or if someone else tried to move it, the Gundam would destroy itself.He couldn't risk OZ getting their hands on Shenlong.He took only his sword with him as he crept across the quiet grounds of the estate.He easily scaled the sturdy rose trellis and swung onto the balcony.He crouched by the window. The curtains had been pulled, providing Wufei with convenient cover; the slight gap allowing him a good view of the room.The OZ General was seated at a desk going through paperwork.A hard-eyed woman with brown hair twisted in two buns poked her head in.Kushrenada rose and followed her out.Now was his chance.

He picked the lock easily./Really, you'd think they could afford better security. /Wufei made sure the window was latched, but not locked, leaving himself an escape route.If he survived.He hid himself and waited for the man to return.He had only a short wait.Kushrenada reentered and sat in a chair in front of the fire.Taking a steadying breath, (why did he suddenly feel so dizzy?) he stepped out of his concealment.He nearly jumped when the man spoke.

"Guten Abend, Drache.So nice of you to drop by."The man stood and picked up a blade of his own.

/How had he known?And how dare he address me that way? /He narrowed his eyes in irritation and stared at the man down the length of his sword."Why do you call me that?"

"You are Chang Wufei, of the Long clan, are you not?If I am not mistaken, 'long' means 'dragon' and so..."His voice trailed off and he shrugged.

"Prepare yourself!"Wufei knew he was not in the best frame of mind for this fight, but what had he to lose?His life?Right now that was a living Hell.If he died nobly in battle, then he couldn't ask for a better end.He knew he was good, but Kushrenada had more experience, power, and a longer reach.Usually his speed could compensate, but it had been days since he'd eaten decently, weeks since his last truly restful sleep.He was slow, and getting slower.He knew he was beaten./Ah well, it's been good while it lasted.I think I will be joining you soon, Meiran. /Wufei felt his opponent trap his sword and send it spinning into the darkened room.

He drew himself up as best he could and stared into the General's cornflower blue eyes."Kill me."

The man shook his head."That is something I will not do, Dragon."

/No!This isn't what I planned! /He slumped, defeated.Wufei heard Kushrenada's sword clang on the floor and then the man was standing beside him.

"Wufei, are you all right?"He realized he was falling, but before he hit the floor, he felt strong arms catch him.He was lifted and then laid on a soft bed."Wufei.Dragon-child, can you hear me?"

"Treize." he cringed at how pathetic he sounded.His stomach surged again.He rolled onto his side, almost falling from the bed.He would have fallen had Treize not caught him again.He lost control and retched.Wufei could feel cool hands holding his head and brushing back his hair.When had he lost his hair tie?When his rebellious stomach finally took pity on him, he felt too weak to do anything but moan.The man eased him back on the pillows and then held a cup of water to his lips.He rinsed his mouth out, spitting into the conveniently held trashcan and lay back on the bed.He could sense the tears pricking his eyes.

"Dragon, what is wrong?"

/Why is he being so kind to me?I am his enemy, am I not? /"Please, Treize.I can't stand it anymore."Shame filled him as the tears started to stream down his face.Wufei closed his eyes against what must be scorn on the OZ General's face.Hands lifted him and cradled the sobbing boy against a strong chest."Treize?"

"Shh, Dragon.It's all right.What happened?"

He couldn't hold it in any longer.He had to tell someone, anyone."It was... just... all the blood... screaming... Ihad to do it... coudn't do anything else...I had no choice... "Wufei realized he was hyperventilating, but could no more control that than he could his stomach or his tears.

"Dragon-child, Wufei, calm down."

Wufei twisted so he could look the General in the eyes.If Treize wouldn't kill him, maybe he would simply hold him, even if only for a little while.It had been so long since he'd had real contact with anyone."Please!I can't do this anymore.I can't live with this.I just can't..."With a keening cry Wufei broke down completely, unable to contain his emotions any longer.He buried his face in the crook of Treize's arm.The man stiffened, then relaxed pulling Wufei into his lap, murmuring soothingly.

Wufei lost track of the next few days.During one of his more lucid moments, he had the presence of mind to deactivate Nataku's self-destruct.He floated in and out of a warm haze.Sometimes he would hear Treize's voice, like the man was reading to him.Occasionally he could hear others as well; another man, who sounded older, his was soothing; and a woman's, harder, he recognized that voice as the belonging to the one he had fought on the ship after the fiasco at New Edwards.Sometimes he could feel cold clothes on his head, or realized he was being bathed in cool water.But for the most part, he just floated, detached from reality.It was pleasant, there was no pain or screaming, and no blood.That's what was most comforting, the lack of blood.

At last the haze disappeared and true sleep tugged at him.Too tired to fight it, he surrendered to the comforting darkness.He harbored no fear for himself, if Kushrenada was planning on killing him, he would have done so by now.Later, when his sleep-fogged brain slowly resurfaced into consciousness, he had no clue where he was.He looked around, the bed was clean and soft, the sheets were silk, smooth against his mostly bare skin.He guessed he'd been ill, but who'd cared for him?The door opened silently, allowing entry of a certain blue-eyed, ginger-haired OZ General.

Wufei did a double take.Yes, it **was Kushrenada, and yes, he ****was out of uniform.The man was clad casually in khakis and a cable-knit sweater only a shade darker than his eyes.He was also barefoot./Oh Gods!... that's right... this is his bed... and his room.... me and... and Treize... OH GODS!! /He could feel the blush start rising in his face.**

"Feeling better, Dragon?"Treize sat on the edge of the bed.

"Treize... " He thought his eyes would pop out as the man leaned over him.He was too weak to protest the man's gentle touch.

"Call me Trey."He felt Wufei's forehead."Your fever's broken, finally.I'll get something for you to eat."Trey scowled at him."You're too thin.You'll never be able to fight me if you don't take care of yourself."Wufei caught his arm as the General turned away.

"Did... did I say anything?"

"You didn't give away any secrets if that's what you're worried about."He sighed and sat back down, turning sorrowful eyes on the boy."Let me give you some advice.If you're going to continue in this war, you've got to learn to let things go, or they will break you.Being a medic is a terrible responsibility, and also a tremendous burden.I couldn't handle it.Most of us couldn't.I just thought you should know."He patted Wufei's arm and rose to leave.He paused at the door and turned."Let it go, Wufei; before you die inside.Let it all go."

-sin sin, tis done-(sin sin (pron. shin)- a Gaelic storytellers traditional ending, basically means 'it's ended')

I know it isn't really finished.You'll just have to read the companion fic. ^_~


End file.
